


Mages and Templars and Wardens Oh My!

by sharem



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 04:58:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8131286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharem/pseuds/sharem
Summary: A series of humorous drabbles/oneshots set in both Dragon Age: Origins, Awakenings and Dragon Age 2. They will be centered on the world of my f!ElfMageWarden, Gwendolynne Surana. Chapters are set in no particular order.





	1. Everything is better with cake

**Author's Note:**

> These are humorous little one shots from my story, See Who I Am on fanfiction.net, A Dragon Age: Origins story that I will eventually migrate here to AO3. ^_^

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter stars Jowan, Gwen, and Anders back when all three were still in the Circle in Ferelden. Anders and Gwen drag poor Jowan on a prank…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, the word prompt was 'cake'.

"SHHH! Anders, Gwen, I don't want a bloody templar to catch us!"

"Oh stop being such a bleeding little girl, Jowan!"

"I wouldn't be scared if you just told me what we were going to do, Gwen!"

THWACK! ZAP!

"OW! Anders, that hurt…"

"You know I like to shoot lightning at fools."

There was a flicker of a spell and a soft glow emanated from a dainty hand, gently illuminating the darkened corridor they were in. There was a gleam in the tiny elf's lavender eyes that made Jowan take a step back. He then glanced at Anders and realized that the man had a similar look in his hazel eyes as well.

"You want to know what we're going to do? Oh, just getting some revenge on the Knight Commander," Gwen stated calmly as if what they were about to do was a common occurrence…then again, when Gwen and Anders work together, is _was_ a common occurrence

"WHAT?" Jowan cried out before getting zapped by Anders once again. "Damnit Anders, that sodding hurts!"

The blonde mage just rolled his eyes and grinned at the brunette. "Don't worry your little girl head, Jowan…Greagoir had this coming to him for a long time."

Jowan put his hand on his face in exasperation and sighed. His two best friends were like two peas in a pod in almost everything. "Okay, okay…just tell me what you need me to do…Maker help me…You both are going to be the death of me…"

 

**XXXX**

 

It was dinnertime and Gwen put her dinner down and squeezed herself between Anders and Jowan at the table the trio usually shared. She glanced around the dining area and grinned as she gazed back at her two friends.

"Anders, did you do it?" she asked as she started to stuff her mouth full of food.

The blonde mage nodded as he took a sip of water from his glass. "But of course, dear lady. I would hate to disappoint such a lovely specimen as you."

"That's because you don't want to be the one she experiments on when she wants to test her fire spells," Jowan retorted, his eyes narrowing at Anders and at the elf.

"Hey! I said I was sorry, Jowan! I didn't mean to burn your eyebrows off!" Gwen protested, bits of food dangling from her lips.

The brown haired apprentice sighed and patted the top of the elf's silvery hair as one would to a favorite hound. Before she could retaliate, Anders shushed the two and pointed to the doors. The Knight-Commander entered the hall, glaring at every mage and apprentice that were present. His hair was bright blue and his beard was a vibrant shade of pink. A few of the senior enchanters were trying very hard not to laugh at the sight.

"I demand to know who did this!" Greagoir bellowed, frightening some of the younger apprentices.

A timid-looking apprentice stood up and pointed. "Knight-Commander ser…your armor…"

Greagoir looked down and a horrified expression appeared. On the front of his armor was lettering that said _HIT ME_! He had a bad feeling churn in his gut when suddenly a piece of cake hit him in the face, and a piece was smashed into his hair. The templar was about to yell again when a clang was heard and he dropped to the ground in a fetal position. Before he passed out, Greagoir looked down and saw that there was a third piece of cake smeared in the area of his crotch, and that there was a small metal bar hidden in the sugary confection.

Gwen started laughing and that got everyone to laugh as well. Even some of the younger templars laughed as well, including the young Ser Cullen.

"Everything is better with cake!" both she and Anders cry out in unison, causing Jowan to slink under the table as the Knight-Commander finally stood back up and marched over to their table.

 _They really_ will _be the death of me_ , the apprentice thought to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't ask…just don't ask where this came from… .:hides:.
> 
> Anyway, a little bit of background is required, I suppose. In this, Gwendolynne Surana, Jowan and Anders are best friends, despite the fact that Anders keeps trying to escape. When a prank happens in the tower, Anders and Gwen are always the suspects while Jowan was something like a sidekick and straight man. .:laughs:.


	2. What is a snowball?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwen teaches Sten the finer points of snowball fights…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prompt for this chapter is 'snowball'. Set during DA:O when Gwen searched for Andraste's ashes. She brought along Alistair, Sten and Leliana to Haven and to where the ashes were hidden. This is also when she got her sword, Spellweaver.

The tiny elven mage was exhausted. They fought and killed a high dragon and she got herself a new sword. Not just any sword, but one that was made specifically for mages to use. She kept swinging it around as they left the temple the ashes were in and started down the mountainside back to Brother Genitivi. She delighted in the feel of the magic thrumming through the weapon and she giggled every time little sparks of lighting would shoot out.

Gwen stepped in a big patch of snow and promptly fell face first into the cold mass. She manage to sit up and noticed that Leliana was laughing while Alistair was looking everywhere but at her, trying to keep a straight face but failing miserably when he began to chuckle.

"Oh ha ha, very funny," she grumbled as she stood back up. She felt something wet hit the back of her head. She whirled around and narrowed her eyes. Alistair, the one she loved, had an entirely too innocent look on his handsome face.

"So is that how it's going to be?" Gwen asked nonchalantly as she sheathed her sword and picked up some snow. She patted it down into a ball and threw it expertly at Alistair. Unfortunately, he dodged the snowy projectile and it hit Leliana in the face.

Knowing how well the bard was with a bow, the mage ran for cover, dragging the tall Qunari with her behind a snowbank. The huge warrior looked down at her, confusion in his eyes.

"Kadan, what is the meaning of this?" he asked as Gwen threw a couple more snowballs at Alistair and Leliana. She hid back behind the snowbank and grinned.

"Having a snowball fight is like being in a battle, Sten. You try to overwhelm your opponents with snowballs before they overwhelm you." The Warden lobbed a couple more snowballs, laughing when she heard Alistair curse.

Sten stared at the tiny elf make some more snowballs and he picked one up, studying it for a moment. "What is a snowball?"

Gwen rolled her eyes and pointed to the lump of snow in the Qunari's hand. " _That_ is a snowball, Sten."

"Then what is the purpose of this pointless activity?"

"Like I said, it's like being in a battle. It's also a good way to have fun and get back at people who've made fun of you, or those who have annoyed you."

Sten stared at the snow in his hand and then at Gwen. "So this is not a pointless activity. It can be considered training."

The Warden nodded and grinned as she saw a glimmer of understanding in the giant's eyes. "That's right. And right now, I find my fellow warden and the bard to be highly annoying."

"Why is that, Kadan?"

"They laughed at me when I fell in the snow."

"Then I shall defend your honor," Sten remarked as he gathered a lot of snow and made one massive snowball. He stood up and held the enormous cold mass in one hand, not heeding the smaller snowballs that collided against his armor. He marched halfway to where Alistair and Leliana were encamped and heaved the massive snowball with a grunt. A loud thud could be heard as the giant ball of snow hit the others.

"Hey! No fair with the large snowballs!" Alistair whined loudly. He was about to say more when two more smaller ones thrown by Gwen expertly hit him.

Leliana didn't say a thing because she was covered with snow and was trying to get away from the tiny elf and the giant Qunari. Another huge snowball was thrown and hit the Orlesian bard, causing her to fall down into the snow. Luckily, she wasn't upset by the outcome…she was laughing just as hard as the Warden.

Sten stood up and walked out from the snowbank he and Gwen had shared. He glanced down at the tiny elven mage, the corners of his mouth barely quirking up.

"That was oddly… satisfying, Kadan," the giant stated.

"Winning a snowball fight is always satisfying," Gwen agreed, her lavender eyes surveying the 'battlefield'.

Alistair closed his eyes and groaned. ' _Note to self… never get in a snowball fight with a Qunari,_ ' he thought to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always wanted to see a snowball fight with Sten…LOL. Anyway, I hope that this was marginally funny…^_^
> 
> If anyone has any prompts, ideas, or where I can go get prompts for this, I would love to hear from you…^_^


	3. Food, glorious food...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jowan is horrified by the elven mage's table manners...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prompt for this chapter is 'gluttony'. This is set during Chapter 3 of 'See Who I Am' after Gwen and Riordan runs into Jowan and recruits him. Jowan discovers one of the things that happens to a person when they become a Warden…

Jowan stared at Gwen. Back in the Tower, the tiny elven woman was able to eat massive amounts of lamb stew without breaking a sweat. But the sight before him…it was like a massacre taking place in front of him.

"Maker's breath, Gwen!" he finally exclaimed as he put his bowl of stew on the table. "Are you _that_ starved?" He heard a low chuckle and turned his gaze over at the Grey Warden with them.

"Easy now, lad," Riordan chuckled, his eyes crinkling in amusement as the silver haired mage dug into a plate of roast chicken and seasoned vegetables. "This is just…let's just say that it's a Grey Warden thing."

The former blood mage sighed in exasperation as he began eating his stew. "At least back in the Tower, Gwen still had _some_ table manners," he muttered as he waved a barmaid over to refill his mug of ale. He felt like he needed something strong to drink. When the barmaid brought over the drink, Jowan had her leave the bottle on the table.

He took several long drinks from the mug and set it back down, sighing. The three of them had been travelling for a couple of days before taking a break at this inn. Jowan was happy that he would actually get to sleep on a real bed and have a real bath. And a good hot meal was in order as well.

Until he saw his best friend eat like there was no tomorrow. The speed of which she was inhaling her food was terrifying and it made the poor man sick to his stomach. He pushed his bowl of stew away, losing his appetite. He turned his head to talk to Riordan and his eyes went wide. The male Warden was eating almost as fast as Gwen, but with better table manners.

"Food! Glorious food!" Gwen voiced loudly, a look of satisfaction on her face. She picked up a chicken drumstick and held it out in front of Jowan. "Come on, Jowan, eat something. You look a little pale."

 _I look a little pale because of your horrible table manners_ , Jowan thought to himself. "Is this…something I have to look forward to when I become a Warden?"

Gwen giggled a little before sticking the chicken leg back on her plate. "Yeah…like Riordan said, it's a Grey Warden thing." She grabbed the chicken leg again and voraciously bit into it, tearing off a chunk of meat.

"So that means you finally get to be a pig like I always suspected you to be."

Jowan looked up and realized that he shouldn't have said anything. The look on Gwen's face was unreadable as she reached over for her sword. "Right now, I am going to take a page from Anders' book," the elf stated calmly as _Spellweaver_ started to crackle with energy. "And I am _NOT_ a pig!"

The apostate stood up quickly, making the chair he was on tumble away quickly. "Uh…there's no need for violence…" A tiny bit of lightning shot out and zapped the brown haired mage in the arm. He yelped loudly and ran out the door, an angry Warden-Commander following him outside.

Riordan sighed as he leaned back in his chair, finishing up the remains of his meal. The barmaid came by and placed a lovely looking cake with white frosting on it. He thanked the woman and dished out a slice for himself. He chuckled and shook his head as he took in a bit, savoring the sugary sweetness.

"Ah…everything is so much better with cake…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I just had to add in that last bit…An homage to the first chapter…LOL.


	4. Campfire Stories Part 1 - Sten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set in DA:O, this campfire story involves Sten regaling the group with a tale about… cookies. It is also before the events in Broken Circle in the game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There isn't a prompt for this chapter, actually. LadyMimzy gave me an idea about stories being told around a campfire. The various story ideas she gave me will be used, in time, but they still won't be in any order. I tend to write down what comes to mind first… LOL.

It was a cool night with the majority of the party huddling around a roaring campfire, the heat from the flames warming everyone. Bodahn and Sandal had already turned in for the night, as did Wynne, and Oghren had already passed out from drinking from his precious beard flask. They all had already eaten their share of dinner, especially since it had been Leliana's turn to cook the night's meal.

Gwen huddled closer to Alistair, secretly enjoying how red her fellow Warden was getting. She would look up into his eyes and get lost in them until Morrigan would make gagging noises. The elf realized she must have gazed into Alistair's eyes again because the swamp witch snorted loudly.

"'Tis a disgusting sight to see, Warden," the dark haired witch complained. "We are not all amused to see such revolting emotions the two of you are spreading."

The assassin with the group leaned back against a log and seemed to agree. "As much as I would love to view, and hopefully partake, in your love games, my dear Warden, I must agree with Morrigan."

"Oh, I think it's sweet," Leliana cooed, thinking of the songs she would write of the love between the Wardens.

Gwen glared at them all and huffed. "Well, I'm sorry that I like staring into Ali's eyes. Do any of you have any ideas on how to pass the time then?"

"Ali?" Alistair managed to get out, feeling a little emasculated by the nickname. He tried to get everyone's attention, but they all seemed to be ignoring him.

The red-haired bard thought for a moment before jumping up. "I say we tell stories about something we did for the first time." She turned to glare at Zevran. "And no, it will _not_ be about the first time having sex."

The blonde elf seemed to deflate a bit. "Then I do not have anything to talk about. Unless you all really want to hear of my sexual exploits. I'd be happy to explain in detail of some of my more memorable encounters. Alistair, you should take some notes…"

"LA la la la! I'm not listening!" the former Templar cried out as he covered his ears. This caused many of the group to laugh at his embarrassment, Gwen included.

" _Parshaara_ , enough of this," the Sten grumbled loudly, getting everyone's attention. "I will tell a tale, if only to stop your foolish ramblings."

Leliana clapped her hands excitedly, eager to hear a new tale. Zevran just sighed and relaxed further against the log he was leaning on while Morrigan rolled her yellow eyes. Gwen and Alistair both seemed to be interested in what the Qunari had to talk about.

Noticing that he had the entire group's attention, Sten no longer seemed to be eager to talk. " _Vashedan_ … Warden, what are those baked things that are sweet and crumble when you eat it?"

Gwen thought for a moment. "Are you talking about cookies?"

The giant warrior nodded. "Yes! We have nothing like that in the Qun. That must be rectified when I return to Seheron."

"What do cookies have to do with anything?" Leliana asked, her bright eyes making the giant a little uncomfortable.

"You stated that the tale must be something we did the first time, bard," Sten answered monotonously. When the redhead motioned for him to continue, he reached around and brought forward a small bag. He reached in and pulled out a simple sugar cookie.

"When my brothers of the Beresaad and I came to Ferelden to look for an answer for the Arishok, we were low on supplies. I gave Ashaad some coin to acquire the needed sundries and rations. When he returned, he handed me a small pouch full of these strange little discs. He said that it was something that we should all try. Those things looked strange…"

Morrigan raised an eyebrow. "Skeptical of a cookie?"

Sten nodded as he looked at the cookie in his hand. "But of course, witch. What could those little brown things do to make Ashaad excited? I was skeptical, but also curious. I took one of those cookies and took a bite. The taste was unlike anything I have ever known. It was sweet and crumbly. It melted in my mouth… Cookies must be a part of the Qun!"

At that, he popped the cookie in his mouth and hummed in pleasure, making sounds that one would usually equate to sex. When Zevran got up and tried to look into the cookie bag, Sten jerked the bag away and growled at the assassin.

"Do not take my cookies! It is an offense to the Qun!" the Qunari shouted as he took out his sword, _Asala_ , and brandished it at the Antivan. Zevran cocked his head to one side, amused by the giant's reaction. Just to see what would happen, he darted forward and managed to take the bag of cookies away.

That caused Sten to cry out, " _Katara, bas_!" He then started chasing the blonde elf around the campsite, trying to get his cookies back. He waved his sword around in order to cut the assassin. He missed and accidentally cut the bindings on Wynne's tent, causing it to collapse on the mage. The elderly woman screamed loudly as she managed to get out from under the material, but tripping over a passed out Oghren.

Gwen and Alistair looked at each other and then at the others. It was decided that night to never try and take Sten's cookies away from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mildly humorous…lol. It makes me happy that my strange humor makes people laugh…^_^ Well, I hope that my strange humor makes people laugh. XD
> 
> Katara, bas! – Die, thing!


	5. Campfire Stories Part 2 - Morrigan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Morrigan's turn to cook dinner that night and she regales the group of something she had for the first time...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second part in the Campfire Stories. This time, it features Morrigan entertaining the group with a tale of her first time with some food…Thanks to Suilven for helping me with this idea… ^_^ This chapter is set after saving the Circle… ^_^

It's been a couple of weeks since Gwen and her merry band of miscreants went to the Circle and saved the mages from the depravity of Uldred. Gwen told the others that Jowan, Anders and herself thought that Uldred was a total ass and he was one of the trio's favorite targets for pranks, other than the Knight-Commander. They were laughing at some of the antics Gwen told them, making Wynne shake her head in exasperation.

"Maker's breath, child, that was you?" the elderly mage groused. "And here I thought that one of the young apprentices had problems with the frost spell."

The elven mage grinned unrepentantly. "Wynne, even though you are one of my favorite mentors, you got me upset when you told me that I needed help in mastering healing magic. Making it snow in the senior enchanters rooms was just fun. Freezing Uldred's smallclothes was a bonus. Jowan actually gave me that idea."

Wynne pinched the bridge of her nose and seemed to mutter some sort of prayer. "At least those other two reprobates aren't with you. I'm sure that if you did not let Jowan go, you probably would have conscripted him into the Wardens."

The silver haired mage appeared to think for a bit, her forefinger tapping her chin. "Yes, that would be a wonderful idea. He and I could prank the Archdemon into killing itself…but that wouldn't work. Anders would need to be there in order goad Jowan into doing something…he's such a bleeding little girl sometimes."

Alistair just stared at the elf for a moment and shook his head. He sometimes wondered why he ever fell in love with a mage who loved to joke, who loved to horrify people with her awful singing, and who also loved to shock people with her fondness of lightning. But she just wouldn't be his Gwen if she did not love those things.

"Will all of you please stop your idle prattle?" Morrigan snapped as she handed each member of the party a wooden bowl filled with a savory stew and thick slices of some sort of meat. "Dinner is served."

Everyone dug into their meal and began commenting on how flavorful the stew was and how tender the meat. This was one of the few times that the witch swelled with pride when among her fellow travelers. Some of them would eagerly eat the meals that the bard would cook, but all tended to forgo their meals whenever it was Alistair's turn to prepare the evening meals. The assassin cooked occasionally as did the Sten.

Everyone went to have seconds, while the two Wardens had more than the entire group ate combined. While Gwen and Alistair were on their fifth plates, Leliana sighed contentedly and threw Morrigan a grateful smile.

"That was a wonderful meal, Morrigan," the redhead remarked and then glanced around the campfire.

The witch nodded at Leliana and placed an animal hide on a log and sat down. "'Twas nothing, bard."

Bodahn and Sandal had already gone back to their cart, Bodahn claiming that he was tired and that he and his son needed some rest. Wynne had already gathered the used dishes in order to clean them later. Sten was sitting a little ways away, obsessively sharpening _Asala_ and keeping an eye on Zevran. Ever since the cookie incident, the Qunari became paranoid about the Antivan stealing his cookies again. Oghren was drinking…again and surprisingly, so was Wynne.

"I say that we tell another 'first time' story," Leliana suggested, hoping that would get people to wake up from their food comas. She then pointedly stared at the dark haired apostate. "You have anything to tell us? I'm sure that you have some fascinating stories, Morrigan."

Morrigan glanced around the group and sighed. "So be it. I'll tell you the first time I tasted the most succulent treat." When she noticed that she had everyone's attention, she began in earnest.

"What I had eaten 'twas not something that I would have thought would be delicious," she began. "The meal you all ate had the same meat as that meal I first tasted so many years ago."

Alistair put his plate down with the other dirty dishes and sat close to the campfire. Gwen did the same, leaning into the other's warmth. He smiled at the tiny elf and made sure that he was listening to the tale. However, he did not notice a mischievous gleam enter the witch's eyes.

"I was a young girl of no more than eleven years old. I had been practicing some of the spells Mother told me to master while she was out. We were low on food and Mother decided to go get some fresh meat."

Sten stopped sharpening his blade and turned to face the witch and listen to her tale. Zevran leaned forward, wanting to hear what was being said.

"'Twas the afternoon when Mother finally came home, dragging a burlap sack behind her. I wanted to see what she had brought home, but she told me to stay outside while she prepared the meal. As I watched her open the door to our hut, the sack moved. Whatever was inside of it was still alive."

Leliana's eyes went wide as she covered her mouth with her hand. Gwen tilted her head to one side, obviously captivated by Morrigan's words. Alistair, however, was starting to fidget as his mind began to wander about what was inside the sack the witch mentioned.

"I asked mother what was inside of the sack. She said, ' _Never you mind, girl_.' Growing up with Flemeth as a mother one tended to obey her without question. Still, it was only natural that I was still curious as to what was inside that bag. The thing that was still inside appeared to put on a struggle. Mother kicked it and it made a mournful sound that meant it was in pain."

Alistair's eyes widened. His skin started to take on a pale appearance while Leliana seemed to look a little green. Even Gwen appeared to look a little nauseated. Wynne took out a bottle of something and took a long drink from it. Both Zevran and Sten just listened intently on the tale. Oghren already passed out.

"Before I could even ask Mother what it was, she managed to fling the sack inside the hut and slammed the door. She had even closed the curtains in the windows so I could not see what was going on. I do believe that she wanted this to be a surprise. I was puzzled that Mother went through all that trouble for food that was still in the land of the living. Usually, the meat she would bring home was already dead."

The former Templar's eyes started to water as he covered his mouth. He definitely felt like he was going to be sick. Morrigan caught his attention and smiled deviously at him and then at the others. She noticed that the elven mage was not looking so good as well as the bard. She saw Wynne had taken another long sip from her bottle. Sten looked as though he finally realized what the witch was talking about and a look of bewilderment was showing on his face. The only one who did not seem to be fazed was the assassin. He actually looked like he was truly interested in the story.

"The next thing I knew, I heard loud cries and screaming coming from the hut and what sounded like a small scuffle. And then silence. 'Twas quite disconcerting to hear nothing but silence, but I kept to Mother's instructions and practiced my spells. Two hours had gone by and Mother bade me to return inside the hut for our dinner. The aroma that filled the place was heavenly and it made my mouth water."

Alistair grabbed his stomach with one hand and kept the other hand over his mouth. Everyone around the campfire was starting to look green, even Sten and Zevran were starting to look sick. Wynne seemed to just give up and drank the rest of whatever alcoholic beverage she was drinking.

"Mother had actually set the table and on top was a roast of some type. ' _This is something that I do not eat very often anymore_ ,' Mother replied. ' _It is not often that I am able to catch such a delectable creature for dinner without getting caught taking it. It was a young thing…it's best to get them young because the meat is so much more tender and tasty this way_.' I had no idea what she was talking about, of course, but I still listened to her. I sliced a piece of the roast and imagine my surprise. Mother was right. The meat was tender and so very mild in flavor. Not gamy like the rest of the meat Mother usually caught. I vowed then and there that I would have this meat again. And so I have, in this very meal I prepared tonight. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I have."

At that, Alistair got up and ran out of the camp, heading for the bushes. A few moments later, the sounds of him retching could be heard. Gwen was very green by this time and just went inside her tent, groaning loudly. "I think I'm going to be sick," was heard from inside. The elderly mage tossed her empty bottle towards the fire and glared at Morrigan before going inside her own tent.

" _Vashedan_ ," Sten muttered as he glared at the remains of the dinner that they ate.

Leliana gasped and shakily pointed a finger at Morrigan. "You… you are evil!" she shouted as she ran to her tent, not noticing Zevran following her. A scream was heard from her tent and the assassin came back out, a red handprint on his tattooed cheek.

Morrigan looked around and chuckled, garnering glares from both the Antivan and the Qunari. "What? 'Twas the first time I ate a roast lamb. What did you think I was talking about?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can anyone guess what kind of meat everyone thought Morrigan was talking about? LOL!
> 
> This chapter is by far my favorite one. ^_^


	6. Pretty as a painting...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While in Lothering, Gwen meets a future Champion…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter originally did not have a prompt… and then I saw the word 'infatuation'…so, this came about. It's set when Alistair, Gwen, Morrigan and Gwen's mabari, Zephyr, first arrive in Lothering. I know that in the game, the dog is a male, but in this, Zephyr is female.

Gwendolynne Surana was not one happy elf. Morrigan refused to see if there was room at the inn and stayed in the camp they set up just on the outskirts of the town. The witch had decided that she would rather stay and sulk in the camp while the two Wardens tried to gather information and decide what to do next. It was bad enough when Loghain's men attacked Alistair and her, but then that crazy Chantry sister decided to attach herself to them. She claimed that the Maker sent her a vision.

The elf groaned as she sat down on a rock, log, or something in front of the inn. She rubbed her temples in order to stop the headache that was starting to pound her poor brain. Alistair had tried to get the mage in some sort of conversation but he kept on tripping over his own tongue. After getting frustrated too many times, the ex-Templar stormed off to the Chanter's Board to see if there was anything worth doing. They needed money and that was the quickest way to earn it.

Gwen heard a shuffling sound and felt something poke her leg. She looked down and noticed that a beautiful dark brown mabari was staring at her with soulful eyes. She smiled at the creature and scratched it behind the ears.

"Aren't you a lovely mabari, yes you are," she said in a childish voice. "I have a mabari too. Her name is Zephyr because she runs like the wind." She chuckled a little more when the dog laid his huge head on her lap.

"It looks like Piddles likes you," a male voice said, amusement evident in his voice. The Warden glanced up and saw a rather tall man wearing a leather outfit that looked more like one a rogue would wear. However, she felt the magic coming off of him strongly.

"Why would you name a noble beast 'Piddles'?" she asked, tilting her head to one side, the action causing the man to smile even more.

"When he imprinted on me as a pup, we took him inside the house. Mother wasn't exactly pleased when he piddled right in the middle of the kitchen floor. My sister said 'PIDDLES' and the dog wouldn't answer to any other name but that."

Another mabari came bounding over to the elf and bowled her over as it licked her mistress' face enthusiastically. Gwen laughed as she tried to push the dog away. "Zephyr! That's enough! I don't need to get my face washed again."

Zephyr gave her mistress a doggy grin before turning her attention to the other mabari. She sniffed at him and barked, her little rear end shaking with excitement. Piddles was doing the same and he looked up at his master.

"Go on Piddles, you don't get to play enough."

Both dogs barked and ran off, playing with each other. Gwen smiled softly as her dog went to play. "She doesn't get to play that much since…"

"You're a Grey Warden," the man stated calmly. He held up his hands when he noticed a faint glow around the elf's hands. "Hey, I'm on your side sweetness. I don't believe what those arsehole soldiers said about you. I was taught respect for the Wardens from my father."

Gwen shook her head and stood up, not very tall for an elf. She then glared at the man. "Don't call me sweetness," she practically growled out. She finally took a closer look at him. He had messy dark brown hair, a little soul patch under his bottom lip, and a five o'clock shadow on his chin and cheeks. His emerald eyes appeared to catch the light of the sun to make them look like gems.

The man laughed as he caught Gwen staring at him. "Yes, I know I'm a catch," he began arrogantly, "but I don't kiss on the first date."

"Jerk," the elf hissed and crossed her arms petulantly.

"How about I introduce myself?" he asked, not caring one bit if the elf was going to answer. He then leaned down and whispered in Gwen's ear, surprising her. "I'm Shannen Hawke and an apostate mage. I'm sure that you won't turn me in. An elf as gorgeous as yourself would have to know magic. You put a spell on me…"

"For MAKER'S SAKE!" Gwen shouted, pushing Shannen away. "You're just as bad as Anders!" She turn around and stomped her way back to the Inn.

Shannen watched the young mage, a grin shining on his face. "I just know I'll see you again someday," he said to no one in particular. "You are definitely pretty as a painting…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally introduced Shannen Hawke, my Mage!Hawke from my Dragon Age II campaign. He is quite the character and he has a thing for female elves… XD However, I don't think this chapter is as funny as I wanted it to be. Oh well. *shrugs*


	7. What's in a name?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the Champion tells Varric his given name…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has the one word prompt of 'name' and it features Shannen Hawke and Varric. Yes, this is the first chapter in this series that is set in DAII. It isn't much and it's also the description for the drawing of I have Shannen up on deviantArt. *snickers*

Hawke wandered into the Hanged Man and waved over at Varric and sauntered over to the dwarf's table. He sat down and waved over to Norah to bring him an ale. Once the mug of watered-down alcohol was set in front of the mage, he took a long drink from the mug and sighed.

The dwarf chuckled at his friend's appearance and shook his head. "Someone else mistake you for a girl again?"

Hawke slammed the mug down on the table, rattling everything on top of it. "I just don't know why!" he exclaimed loudly, causing a few of the bar's patrons to hiss at him to be quiet. He gave them a rude gesture and sighed again. "I don't understand...I have stubble on my face, I don't wear those freaking robes that make me look like a girl..."

Varric laughed and gave his friend a pitying look, which made the mage sulk even more. Suddenly, something came to the dwarf's mind and he grinned.

"So tell me Hawke, I've always wondered why you joke around so much. You seem to always insult everyone you meet."

"I do not...I only insult people I really like."

"Then you must like everyone you meet," Varric muttered, and then smiled once again. "But that doesn't explain why you joke, insult people, and why you are a general wisecracking pain in the ass."

The tall mage put his mug down and rubbed his temples as if he had a migraine coming on. "It has a lot to do with my given name."

That got the storyteller's interest. "Oh? I don't think most of us know your name, Hawke...just...well, we just know you as Hawke. So what is your name?"

Hawke narrowed his hazel eyes at the dwarf. "I'll tell you only if you promise not to tell the others."

"But-"

" **Promise me!** "

Varric threw his hands up in surrender. "Okay okay...I promise not to tell our friends what your real name is." He saw his human friend sigh in relief and his body appeared to relax.

"Shannen."

"What?" Varric asked incredulously.

"Mother and Father thought that I was going to be a girl when I was born. Imagine their surprise that their firstborn was a healthy baby boy. Father wanted to change the name but Mother... she said that Shannen was going to be my name no matter what."

Varric pulled out a bottle of fine Antivan brandy and handed it to Hawke. "That explains...everything."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shannen Hawke is special…*snickers* And yes, he will be featured in his own story after See Who I Am is finished… whenever that will be if I can find my outline for it…*grumbles*


	8. You're the one!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Gwen tells a story and later on Anders realizes it was about Hawke…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has the prompt of 'you're the one!' and in the beginning its Gwen, Anders and Jowan at Vigil's Keep. The second part is later on in DA2 with Anders and Shannen Hawke.

"I'm telling you, Anders, that man I met in Lothering was worse than you!" Gwen Surana, the Warden-Commander, cried out as she smacked her hand on the table.

The blonde Warden crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. "Oh? You mean he was actually more handsome and more charming than me?" he asked, his hazel eyes widening for a moment. "That can't be true, my dear. I'll have you know that I have both women AND men wanting to tear their own smallclothes off when they see me."

Jowan groaned as he heard a deep chuckle and a loud belch. "Anders, can you and your ego just shut up for just one moment? You're just giving Oghren more ammunition to joke with you."

Anders rolled his eyes and stared at his friend. "That's quite alright, you bleeding little girl. We can just prank him the way we've done to Gregoir back at the Circle." He then turned to look at the petite elven mage. "So tell me about this atrocity of manliness, Gwen."

Gwen glared at her friend and then downed the ale that was in front of her, her lavender eyes flashing. "Well, for one thing, he called me sweetness!"

Jowan snickered. "I'd never call you that. You're definitely not sweet, at least not around us. Maybe around Riordan…" He stopped immediately when he saw sparks of lightning around the elf's hand. He then motioned for the Commander to continue with her story about the man she met in Lothering…

 

**XXXX**

 

Anders sighed as he leaned back in a chair at the Hanged Man, listening to the stories Varric was telling everyone about the Deep Roads Expedition and how they all faced a dragon and darkspawn. He shook his head as he took a sip of his watered down ale and saw Hawke enter the tavern and make his way towards the group.

"Hawke!" Varric said loudly, motioning for the apostate mage to sit next to the former Grey Warden. "We're all telling stories about what we've done in the past. So, tell us if you met anyone interesting in your home village."

Hawke leaned back against his chair and lifted his feet up to the table, his hands and arms crossing behind his head. "Well, I did meet this one pretty elf in Lothering. Very cute and very petite, even _for_ an elf."

That caught Anders' attention as he propped himself up on the table by his elbows. "Oh? What did she look like and what did you say to her?"

The man grinned as his emerald eyes took on a dreamy expression. "Oh, she looked _very_ nice with that silvery hair pulled back in a bun. I bet she's even prettier if she ever let that hair down. Anyway, no amethyst could hold a candle to her eyes…they were even better than any gem. Not to mention those Chasind robes she was wearing at the time showed off every nice curve on that body."

The blonde mage closed his eyes as his hands became tight fists. "Anything else?"

Hawke nodded enthusiastically. "Maker yes! I called her sweetness; she didn't seem to care for that. But damn… I could feel the magic coming off of her in waves and it was such a turn on! I couldn't help myself and said that she had to know magic because she put a spell on me."

Varric groaned loudly and shook his head. "Hawke, I'd rather take your insults than your compliments."

"She then said that I was worse than…Anders…" Shannen Hawke stopped talking to see a rather angry Anders glaring at him. "Uh… You're the one… she was talking about."

"You! You're the one Gwen was talking about back in Amaranthine!" Anders shouted, standing up suddenly. "She told me about this girly man with a girl's name hitting on her. That was the Warden-Commander, you nug-shit! I grew up with her in the Circle and she's a sister to me! You fool!"

"HELP ME!" Shannen screamed as he was chased out of the tavern by Anders shooting lightning at him. Every person in the tavern laughed as the two men ran out.

"This is _SO_ not going in the stories about Hawke," Varric mumbled as he shook his head and downed another mug of ale.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Anders is very protective over Gwen. *snickers* And Shannen is getting his foot stuck in his mouth constantly… LOL! Who here thinks that he deserves to be struck by lightning by Anders? I think it's interesting that Hawke is still thinking about Gwen, even after a few years went by... LOL
> 
> Well, that's all I have for this collection of drabbles for now. If anyone has any ideas, please can I get any one word, or simple sentence prompts? That would be awesome. ^_^


End file.
